Its been a long time since I have written anything. I’m trying to find a job so I don’t feel like a giant failure but its a losing battle. I would rather die than go home.
"When first love ends, most people eventually know there will be more to come. They are not through with love. Love is not through with them. It will never be the same as the first, but it will be better in different ways."
David Levithan, Every Day
Its been just over a year. Everything is different and constantly shifting. I still think about you everyday, but there is someone new in my life. I don’t know when I will see, or even talk, to you again, but I didn’t crumble. I am strong, I survived the trauma that you put me through. If you could only see me now.
I met someone new. I really like her but I’m so afraid. Afraid of how she looks at me, afraid of how she feels, afraid of how I feel. But I need this, its time I test myself.
"I’m not really sure why. But… do you stop loving someone just because they betray you? I don’t think so. That’s what makes the betrayal hurt so much - pain, frustration, anger… and I still loved her. I still do."
Brandon Sanderson, Mistborn: The Final Empire
"I guess by now I should know enough about loss to realize that you never really stop missing someone-you just learn to live around the huge gaping hole of their absence."
Alyson Noel, Evermore